僕ね、やっぱりピアノがすき

I don't know what's gotten into me, to start blogging again. To start off with a mundane opening, my life this semester has been nothing short of hectic. In the beginning, there were 8 events waiting for me, 2 were somehow cancelled, but many more unexpected events turned up. So mush so that I didn't even have time to read manga, let alone watch anime. I hadn't went down to play volleyball, not even once, all for the sake of my studies, while juggling with all these events.

Maybe the reason I like blogging is because it gives me an opportunity to tap on the keyboard for an extended period of time, which is not what you get when typing lab reports and assignments. Maybe, just maybe, I could never get past my love for the keyboard, it gives my fingers great joy to move around like that, to have carefully coordinated movements and transitions, just like playing the piano.

Why did I pick up the piano in the first place? I started learning when I was about seven, I think. They had these tv shows back then showing pianists playing, or artists singing while playing the piano. Something inside me was attracted to that musical instrument, that wonderful work which conveys messages that transcends language and borders. The sounds it can produce were limitless, and a  same tune can have so many different meanings when played differently or by different persons. Maybe that was what I was chasing after, and hence I discovered my love for music.

And then I reached the point in my life where I was having an identity crisis. All the plans I had, all those dreams that I slept with every night, were all falling apart right in front of my eyes. I may appear strong, but nobody ever knows what goes through my mind when I'm alone at night. Life has a cruel sense of humour, and your prayers will be answered in truly unexpected ways. The point is at that point in my life, I decided to let go of the piano world, the world which everybody says cannot feed you, the world which would be okay if it stays a past-time activity, the world which I had found so much happiness, and freedom. It was a painful decision, but one I had to make, for I had to let go of all external things, and start looking inward, to search for that part of me which got lost when I was under the spotlight.

Three years and many events later, I realised that the way I lived was not very much myself. The me that I know has this passion for music, though not naturally gifted in many ways, this love in me I cannot deny. Thus I will take up the piano once again, even if it's painful, even if it's scary, I'm sailing on uncharted waters after all~ ;) I will once again plunge into the world of music scores and Bach and Haydn and Beethoven and Tchaikovsky, I will lose myself between the staves, and find myself there.

Jump, then, head first fearless